I believe I come from a place where emotions are void. Sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again. Spinning around in the night, crashing into the stars, causing whirlwinds, leaving behind everything. Running away. Always running, afraid to show its face. Where sadness is no longer ocean’s crashing down my face. Sadness is now biting my lip, praying for the strength to hold back your tears yet again. Sadness is trying to swallow around the heart in your throat. It is that same heart trying so desperately to get out; to say, “I’m still here. I’m still beating.” Where anger isn’t shouting words; anger is screaming silence. Anger is ignoring the problem, pretending it’s not there. It is taking a deep breath and changing the subject. “So how was school today.” Ignoring anger is a skill. An act. A lie. Where pain is no longer a vocabulary word. Pain becomes emptiness, just another spot to fill in your vacated chest.
12.19.2007
Black Holes and Empty Chests
I believe I come from a place where emotions are void. Sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again. Spinning around in the night, crashing into the stars, causing whirlwinds, leaving behind everything. Running away. Always running, afraid to show its face. Where sadness is no longer ocean’s crashing down my face. Sadness is now biting my lip, praying for the strength to hold back your tears yet again. Sadness is trying to swallow around the heart in your throat. It is that same heart trying so desperately to get out; to say, “I’m still here. I’m still beating.” Where anger isn’t shouting words; anger is screaming silence. Anger is ignoring the problem, pretending it’s not there. It is taking a deep breath and changing the subject. “So how was school today.” Ignoring anger is a skill. An act. A lie. Where pain is no longer a vocabulary word. Pain becomes emptiness, just another spot to fill in your vacated chest.
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1 comment:
Your articulation of the emotions you try so hard to hide is inspiring. "Black Holes and Empty Chests" is an extrememly powerful piece. You might want to consider submitting it Calliope. I think it deserves to be published so everyone else can be equally shocked by how true your words ring. It is an amazing piece.
Great job.
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